reCHARGE® Your Life

Ep54: Dr. Denise Moore Revel reCHARGED

March 16, 2022 Dr. Keri Ohlrich & Kelly Guenther
reCHARGE® Your Life
Ep54: Dr. Denise Moore Revel reCHARGED
Show Notes Transcript

Dr. Denise Moore Revel is on a mission to help people find their voice and we are all in for that movement! She shares her personal story of why this is incredibly important to her and why she wants to help others. 

Dr. Denise tell us about her "a-ha" moment when a person she just met the night before diagnosed her unhappiness at a conference in front of a group of people. She continues to help our audience by providing her excellent advice on finding your voice, making a decision and taking action. 

Dr. Denise is a CEO, founder, award-nominated-best-selling author, speaker, and personal development and business coach. As a speech-language pathologist, her job has been to help her clients discover their voices. A job she has enjoyed for the past 25 years.

Dr. Denise founded “The Own Your Amazing Movement”, a personal development company, as an extension of her passion of empowering clients to find their voices. The “Own Your Amazing Movement” focuses on women who feel stuck and frustrated to dig deeper to find their voice and live their worth out loud. Through coaching, mentoring, and workshops, Dr. Denise ignites and energizes women to find the power to be authentic, to show up more powerfully, and create amazing lives they love. 

She earned her bachelor's degree in Speech-Language Pathology and Audiology, a master’s degree in Communication Sciences and Disorders, and a doctorate in Human Services-Specialization in Multicultural Counseling & Coaching. She has owned and operated a speech therapy private practice for over 15 years, serving the metropolitan Washington, DC and Baltimore, MD areas. 

Connect with Dr. Denise to learn more about her and her background:

Sign up for our newsletter at https://abbraccigroup.com/. Please subscribe, leave a review and tell your friends about our podcast. Learn more about the CHARGE® model by purchasing the book, The Way of the HR Warrior. Let us know about the moments for you that changed your life trajectory. Drop us a note via our website. 

Keri [00:00:13] Welcome to the reCHARGE® Your Life podcast with me, Dr. Keri Ohlrich and Kelly Guenther. We are thrilled to talk to people who have made a decision that reCHARGE® their lives. Often they push themselves out of their comfort zones and took risks. We want to know about that decision point. Why did they make that decision? And most importantly, how can we learn from them? Kelly and I are passionate HR professionals, and together we co-founded our HR consulting firm Abbracci Group. We have talked to amazing people throughout our careers and listen to them as they made decisions that changed their lives and knew that these inspirational stories would help others. And why did we call it reCHARGE®? It's based on a book I coauthored called The Way of the HR Warrior, and in it we have a leadership model CHARGE which stands for courage, humility, accuracy, resiliency, goal oriented and exemplary. We know that people used one or more of these qualities to help them make their decisions, and we want to learn from them. Now sit back, listen and be inspired by these stories, and then do something to reCHARGE® your life. Let's get to it. 

Kelly [00:01:19] Hi, everyone, it's Kelly. We are thrilled to have Dr. Denise Moore Revel as our special guest. Dr. Denise is a CEO, founder, award nominated, best selling author, speaker and personal development and business coach as a speech language pathologist. Her job has been to help her clients discover their voices, a job she's enjoyed for the past twenty five years. Dr. Denise founded the Own Your Amazing Movement, a personal development company, as an extension of her passion of empowering clients to find their voices. The Own Your Amazing Movement focuses on women who feel stuck and frustrated to dig deeper to find their voice and live their worth out loud. Through coaching, mentoring and workshops, Dr. Denise ignites and energizes women to find the power to be authentic, to show up more powerfully and create amazing lives they love. She earned her bachelor's degree in speech, language pathology and audiology, a master's degree in communication sciences and disorders, and a doctorate in Human Services Specialization in multicultural counseling and coaching. She's owned and operated a speech therapy private practice for over 15 years, serving the metropolitan Washington, D.C. and Baltimore, Maryland areas. Dr. Denise, thank you so much for joining us. We always like to start our podcast by asking what you do when you want to push yourself and expand your thinking. 

Dr. Denise [00:02:42] First of all, I want to say thank you so much for having me on the show. I'm very excited to be here and to have this conversation. So what do I do when I want to push myself? Is I talk, I talk to people. That's what I do, right? So I try to engage in conversations with family and friends just to get maybe a different perspective on things that I may not have considered. But I also read a lot. You know, I like to pick up new books and a like get new insights about things again that I may not have thought about. So talking to people and reading books, the kind of my go to thing for me to help me to be expanded and also to help really push myself. 

Keri [00:03:20] I like that. Thank you, Dr. Denise. What book then is next to your bed or the one you're reading right now? Like, what's what do you pick up when you have a few extra minutes? 

Dr. Denise [00:03:30] Yeah, just started reading Michelle Obama's book Becoming. 

Keri [00:03:34] Yeah, well, I have so many books on the shelf that I haven't read yet, so I'm just like, Oh, she's reading. How far are you into it? 

Dr. Denise [00:03:44] You know, I just started reading it. But yeah, I'm excited to really dig in. I saw her recently on a show. They were interviewing her and I was like, I have her book, I need to read it, you know? And so I just started reading the introduction, you know, a couple of pages the other night. 

Keri [00:04:01] Lovely. What when you I like how you said that you really talked to your friends and family when you're kind of need some more information, what triggers in you like, you know what? I'm going to be thinking of this, though not the right way, but like, I need more information. What kind of triggers in you that, like, need to go talk to someone? And then what are some of the questions you ask them to get their perspective on it? 

Dr. Denise [00:04:25] It's usually times where I'm not clear on what I should do. You know, is this the right decision? You know, I want to make sure, especially when I'm making life changing decisions, excuse me, that I look at all different sides of it. And so, you know, I have sisters, I have brothers and friends. I might say, this is what I'm thinking. What do you what do you think about this decision just to get a different perspective? Again, I want to make sure whatever decision I come to that I'm weighing all the options and I'm trying to look at it from all different angles. 

Keri [00:04:58] Oh, I love that holistic approach where you always kind of holistic about that or do you kind of is, is it? Maybe I should say this way, does it come naturally for you doctor to? Needs to just ask everyone's kind of opinion and get that holistic, or is it something that you're very mindful of? Like, Nope, I really need to ask this because I could go down a rabbit hole by myself and I want to expand. 

Dr. Denise [00:05:19] Yeah, I think it's kind of been natural for me. I'm kind of very curious and inquisitive person. Am I'm going to ask like, well, why, you know, go deeper and you know, and that's they surface. So I'm typically asking a lot of questions. Sometimes my family or friends that frustrate them with my questions because I ask a lot of questions, but I tell them, because I'm really trying to understand, I want to know. You know, you will see people do things they like. But I was like, Well, why did you do that? What were you thinking and what, you know? Did you consider this? And so I even tried to do that again when it comes to making decisions about my life. 

Keri [00:05:56] Yeah, I love the why question. When you think about it, you kids ask Why all the time? Why? Why, why? Why? Why? And what do we do as adults? What do we do? Tell him, no. Stop asking, because I said, So yes, we really don't encourage that. Why? And I just know I ask a lot of why questions, especially when I was at work. And, you know, it's like a corporate job like, Well, why are we doing it this way? And I was branded maybe problematic because of that, because you're supposed to just do what you're told. But yeah, I love that that y. And then also, you know, we were joking before the podcast, I'm getting our doctorate and that's very much a y. That's a y degree, right? Yeah. If we had a medical doctor, according to my son, the real doctor. But if you're the y doctors like disease and I, that's really it. You're just you're curious and you're like, Why I wonder why this has happened or why this is occurring? And that's pretty much your dissertation is asking a y question. So I love that it's just a part of you, and you went to the penultimate conclusion of why is getting your doctorate? And then you continue to ask why questions even after that. 

Dr. Denise [00:07:07] And so I think I really credit my parents. You know, I'm the youngest of five. And so I think, you know, when my siblings were growing up, when they with my parents would tell them to do something and they might ask why they lied because I said so when I came along, I was like, Well, why do you say so? And I was thankful that my parents, especially my dad, he didn't consider it being disrespectful or trying to challenge his authority as my parent. I think we really saw I really wanted to know, why are you saying that? Why are you making that decision? And really quickly, one thing that stands out was, I remember I was in high school and had a really, you know, I met this girl in high school. We became friends and she was like, "Hey, do you want to have a sleepover at my house?" I said, "OK, let me go and ask my dad, Can I come over your house?" What do we get? So I went, ask my dad, and he was like, "Nope, nope." And so I was like, Well, why? And so he looked at me, he said, "Because I don't know her or her family would allow you to go stay at someone's house that I don't know."

Keri [00:08:19] Mm-Hmm. 

Dr. Denise [00:08:20] And he said, "If I meet her, meet her family. You know who I know, who's coming in and out of that house? He said, then I may feel more comfortable letting you stay.". 

Keri [00:08:30] Hmm. Oh, got it. 

Dr. Denise [00:08:32] And so I went back and tell her, "No, I can't stay." Yes. You know, I understood why. He said why. But how? He just said, because I said, so I wouldn't have really got the understanding. He was trying to protect me. 

Keri [00:08:44] Exactly. And you wouldn't be able to solve the problem either if you just said no and didn't tell you why you couldn't fix it. You couldn't have him meet the family and then realize, Oh, now I can stay over at her house because he met the family. Otherwise you could just be like, my dad's a real jerk and maybe snuck out and did things that then get up later this hour, huh? Well, that's wonderful that your parents, because for a lot of the kids, it's really not challenging authority. They really are trying to figure out why. I don't understand why. And once I understand and that was always me to even in these corporations, just I just want to understand because then I can explain it to people, then I can again problem solve it. You can tailor the solution, the right solution. So I think that's great when how wonderful and look at you, the baby of the family overindex keen on getting your doctorate being successful like that. You don't have to do that. Dr. Denise, you going to just beat the baby of the family? Come on.

Dr. Denise [00:09:46] I know, I know. But I hope I have an older sister who has a doctorate, so some might say I was trying to follow her footsteps. But no, I did it. My way was because it's what I wanted to do to be more. And my job. 

Keri [00:10:03] I like it. I like it. Like, I don't need to be my sister again. You're the baby. You could do it. I. Are you one and you're still the most adorable one of the family, sorry, other kids. Sorry, other kids. So let's get to the big question. Thank you for that. What was the decision that you made? Or maybe it was made for you that changed the trajectory of your life? And what are some of those charged qualities that you use to help you make that decision or manage through it? 

Dr. Denise [00:10:30] For me, it was deciding to go to college. So the back story was I always do well in college and I had a best friend since third grade. And so our senior year, we decided that we were going to go to the same college. Okay, great. Had a plans. Together we were. We were on our way. And then a few months before it was time to go, she decided she didn't want to go. And so I had to make a decision was I'm going to still go away to college without her. And so it was funny as as Kelli was reading my bio I was I was thinking about that. I said, What if I had made a different decision? I would not have, you know, the education that I have, but that was a life changing decision for me that I decided to go without her. Mm-Hmm. Yeah, I'm that took a lot of courage for me. 

Keri [00:11:27] Yeah. Tell us about that decision, then. So all of a sudden, did you have were you really struggling? How did you get through that struggle? You know, I need to know more. I'm going to ask Dr. Denise, come on now. 

Dr. Denise [00:11:39] It wasn't a struggle because, you know, she and I were very close like sisters, you know? And so and again, I had made my decision. I chose a particular college I was going to go to based upon what she and I had agreed upon, where we both got accepted. And so what? She decided she wasn't going to go. I had to make a decision like, Well, am I going to go and quote unquote leave her? But then I decided that was that really the college I wanted to go to. I kind of made the decision to go to college, and I chose because we both agreed upon it, but it wasn't really my first choice. Mm-Hmm. And so here I was again like, How am I going to go? Am I going to go to this particular school that she and I had decided we were going to go to together? And so but with that decision, I did not talk to the people about it, to be honest. I don't think I did talk to anyone about because I need to make that decision for myself. Mm-Hmm. I need I don't I don't need anybody else's input with this decision because I need I need to decide this. And so that's why it took courage for me to say this is a decision I making in terms of where I'm going to go to college. 

Keri [00:12:54] Did you switch? Did you switch colleges? Because now it was just empty. 

Dr. Denise [00:12:58] So it's it's another little piece of the story. So I switched colleges and I went to a different college. And I went there for a semester and I came back home. Yep. And so I had some I said I was the master because I said, I need to hear I was like, Do I want to go back there? I was just confused. 

Keri [00:13:23] Holy smoke. Yeah. 

Dr. Denise [00:13:25] Right. And so I set out a semester. And so again, I was like, What am I going to do about a job, you know? But it was not, definitely not what I wanted to do. And so again, I was at the crossroads again. What am I going to do? What kind of decision am I going to make? Am I going to go back to college? Mm hmm. So I made the decision again to go back to college, but this time I went to a different school. I transferred. I transferred to a different school, and I started that summer, and three years later, I graduated from that university of my degree. 

Keri [00:14:05] Wow, what? What made you change like? Was there something in you that you knew the school? The first school wasn't right? And then how did you pick the second one? And especially it's so interesting because, like you said earlier, I like to ask everyone's opinion, but this one was so personal. You're like, Now this is just for me. I have to really focus on me and my knees. What was kind of your maybe north Northstar North Star guiding light on that? 

Dr. Denise [00:14:32] I think at that point in my life, I had I felt like I had been making a lot of decisions based on what other people wanted for me. I. And I felt like this was the first time in my life where I was going to say, No, I'm making this decision myself. And once I made the decision to even go to a different school the first time, then to come home. And then I said, Well, no, I'm going back to college and I'm transferring to this university that I really want to go to. And so and I went there and stayed in graduate and all that good stuff. And so I didn't tell anyone about my decision until I made the decision because I didn't want their input on it. 

Keri [00:15:17] Interesting. Especially because you were playing which and I think we'll probably get to some of this in the advice, as women, we tend to skew toward pleasing and getting more people's opinions and doing what other people think and being a good girl. That's right. And and so for you, and especially at the young age to be like, no and to to to buck against that plus you're just kind of nature of. I like to ask a lot of people did take courage. Where did you find that courage and and how did you kind of stand up and were there people? The second part of the question? Were there people who went, Oh no, that's a dumb decision. And you're like, Oh no. Like, how did how did that happen? How'd had that go? 

Dr. Denise [00:16:04] Well, I don't, you know. I don't know where I got the courage, but I think I would just get to the point where I just needed to stand up for me. And so there were some people who definitely had things to say when I decided to, you know, quote unquote drop out the first time to come back home. What are you doing? You're crazy, you. Why are you doing that? And so that's why I look, I don't mean a lot of people's input right now because I need to figure this out for myself. Mm-Hmm. And so I'll just tell them, it's OK. You know, I'll. I'll figure it out, you know? And the one person who did not give me, you know, a lot of negativity who was most supportive was my dad. He was like, I know you figure it out. I know you figure it out. You'll figure it out. And so once I made a decision to go, you know, he asked questions once I made the decision. He was like, Are you sure this what you want to do this way? You want to go? You know, so which helped me to clarify even more and made me feel even better about my decision. And so but there were some people who were like, what are you doing? You need to go back to school, just go back where you were. You know, it's just a lot of that. And so at that point, I was like, I don't meet a lot of people. Opinions in my head right now. I need to focus on what is it that I want for myself? 

Keri [00:17:27] Yeah, I love that. I love that you had the support, the love of your father saying, no, you'll do it. But then he still ask questions. Wants me to help you clarify that, which is really important to have that support, but not just to support. Like sure, you'll figure it out, but then nothing else, because then that doesn't that helpful if they're not helping you kind of think through it. I love that you found your voice, and I know this goes into kind of how you're so passionate about helping women find their voice. Was this was this kind of the the seed of it? Dr. Denise of like, no, I need to help women find their voice and live more authentically. 

Dr. Denise [00:18:10] Absolutely. Because what I discovered was I was not the only person struggling with things like this, you know? And, you know, having conversation with other friends and women, you know, they have in their similar stories, not necessarily about college. It might have been about work or a relationship or just whatever and not really understanding. Is this what you really want? Are you using your voice? Are you speaking up at work or are you being your authentic self with your family? And so I tell people I invite them on the journey with me to self-discovery, like, who are you? Are you really only who you are? And so, yeah, as I felt like I've been finding my voice, I am just passionate, and I just feel like it's my mission to help other people find theirs as well. 

Keri [00:18:58] Hmm. That is such an amazing mission. And while you're talking. Because I think Kelly and I both so wholeheartedly agree. It's one of the reasons we do this podcast because there are so many inspirational stories like yours and you want to help as many people as you can, people who have been struggling with things and they can kind of help figure it out and reCHARGE® their life while while you're talking to actually. And since you're a doctor, a real one individual already. But how would let me see if I can say this the right way? So what? A few women might not even know that they're not living an authentic life, even if they aren't like, like they're doing it for their family or what they think society should be. And I'm going to support this not so nice guy, and I'm going to support this or I'm going to support that. My son needs to act like a cis hetero or something like that, or like they just they don't even realize that it's not kind of their authentic voice. So I guess, how do you how have you helped people who haven't even gotten to like, Oh good, I want to learn about my authentic voice and I want to talk to Dr. Denise, but they're like stuck in that quagmire of not even realizing that they're not authentic. Does that make sense? 

Dr. Denise [00:20:23] It does. It absolutely makes sense. And I want to just give a little backstory about how all your amazing movement really came to be with me. Really helping women was again, I had a degree. I had a great job. Life was great on the outside, but on the inside I was still feeling very unfulfilled, like, Oh, I'm doing all this great stuff. But this this isn't it for me. More, if for me, you know, you start questioning, is it all there is for me? Is this all there is for life? Yes, I'm supporting my family and my career is great, but there's just a lot of gnarly on that head, just knowing on the inside. So about five or six years ago, I attended a retreat in Dallas, Texas, and where the people were, you know, women coming together to really find yourself and just figure out what's going on with your life. And the story goes the night before the big conference, I went out to dinner with one of the attendees and we had dinner, was getting to know one another and talking and all that great stuff. So the next day, doing the conference, doing the workshop, the facilitator was allowing each person to come to the front of the room and she was going to coach it right. So I'm sitting in the audience and one by one, all these women are going up front, you know, taking their turns and they're crying for their hearts out. And I'm sitting there like, why are they crying? You know, I know. And then it was my third. When I tell you, ladies, as soon as I sat down in the chair, I started crying boring at a facility like what is going on? And I was, I don't know, I'm just not happy, I'm happy. And so the young lady who had gone out to dinner with the night before she raised her hand, she said, I know what's wrong with you. And I'm thinking in my mind, I didn't say this that a lot of think we just met. You don't know me. 

Keri [00:22:29] Who are you? Yeah. 

Dr. Denise [00:22:31] Are you going to say, you know me? What? I just said, "Okay, I said, So what's going on with me?" She said, "You're smart, you're brilliant. You're talented." She said, "You all these things, she said, but you don't own it.". 

Keri [00:22:45] Wow.  

Dr. Denise [00:22:45] "You need to own your amazing. And stop playing small." I'm like, Oh my God. That's it. Yeah. She knows the language. What deep down inside I was feeling, I said, because I believe we know we're now up to our greatest potential. Yes. No, we're not living lives that we're excited about. We know we're not excited every day to go out and do the thing we have been created to do. We don't let nobody tell us that. 

Keri [00:23:23] Right. 

Dr. Denise [00:23:23] Nobody has to tell us that. And so to answer your question, I tell women like, you got to stop and get to know who you really are. Outside of your husband outside of your kids has had your career. Who are you really for you? That's the first question. And that's the hardest question for a lot of us to answer. 

Keri [00:23:45] Yep. How do you? So let's get to the I love that story, by the way, and I love how you're like, why are these fools crying? And then as soon as you go off there, that's the best movie. That's the movie right there where you're like, You're the star and you're like, voiceover, as I would never cry like that. Exactly, exactly. I love that so much. What? And we already started with the advice I to get to know yourself. So let me, because I do think that's almost the hardest part for people. Do you have some good, actionable steps because we like action here? So what? What are some of the actual steps that that ladies can take to help them? 

Dr. Denise [00:24:28] And it sounds simple, but again, it's the hardest thing you ask. You ask yourself the question What do I really want? What do I really want? Not what people say I want.Yeah, not the college days they actually go to. Not not the job. I suppose they say I should take, not the career they say I should take. But what is it I really want? You know, that's the first thing is to discover that ask yourself that, you know, I have some of my clients and start out as simple as like, what's your favorite ice cream? And they were like chocolate. I said, Do you really like chocolate? Do you really like chocolate? You know, some of like well, you yeah, like, well, I don't really know if I like chocolate, even though I've been eating it for years. What do you get excited about? What like, what do you really like? What do you really want for you? When I started my practice, you know, I have a I have a office space and different technicians were coming in to set up, you know, you know, internet, you know, like whatever man to set up the internet. And he was like, Hey, do you want a television, your reception area? And I was like, No, I don't want to television in here. I said, I want books I like to read, and so I want my clients to read. I have books and magazines. He was like, Oh, what other offices have televisions in there? Oh, OK, well, good for them. And he kept pressing me about having to tell him fine. I said, I don't want I don't want a television. It's not where I want. And this is I want to put the space, how I want it. So we have to be willing to say, what is it that I want? What makes me happy? I love reading. I want people to read. So I have books in my office space, in my reception area. So I said, that's just a simple thing. But again, get really clear about what it is that you really want. 

Keri [00:26:26] OK, so once I know what I really want, then kind of what are some of the what are the things that I should do next? 

Dr. Denise [00:26:35] The second thing is make a decision quickly. So I'm going to the last one is definitely take some action. But before you can even take action, you got to know what you want. And so people think, I know what I want and I make a decision that you're going to go for that app, make a decision. Make me say no matter what. This is what I want, and this is what I'm going to go for. Again, that's why I didn't have conversations about where I was going to go to college until I got clear what I wanted to go. And then I made my decision. This is where I'm going to go. And then the action was, I applied. 

Keri [00:27:08] Mm hmm. 

Dr. Denise [00:27:09] So know what you want. Make a decision. And then lastly, take some action taken action. And why can't we talk about taking small actions? You know, I don't care how you know, I don't get caught up in big steps. I'd say taking take a small step every day. Yes, I count the small wins. You know, and I had to learn that early in my career as a speech therapist, I tell the story. When I first started my career, I was in the school system, but I worked with a number of kids who were nonverbal. And so they had the individual, you know, individual education plan these apps. And so everybody wanted this one particular kid to talk. He was five years old. He was nonverbal. Of course, we want him to talk. But the thing I would then go from a non talker to kids talking in complete sentences and a year. Mm hmm. No, but but I wrote the goal as such. And weeks and months went by, and I felt like he wasn't making any progress, and I felt like I was a failure as a therapist, like he's not progressing, he's not progressing, he's not going to get there, he's not going to get there. And then one day, one of the teachers he knows he was a teacher have been working for many years. She taught me, she said, you've got to learn to count the small wins. She said from when you started with him to now, can he make a sound? And I was like, yeah, that's a way to. It takes a sound to make a word. Yeah. So from that day, I adjusted the goal, but I also adjusted the way I looked at winds. Sometimes we'll feel like we're making progress because we don't have the big thing. But if you do something small every day towards that thing, you said, you want it. You made a decision. You're going to get there. Yes, you're going to get there. So in my office, we throw up, we throw parades every week. 

Dr. Denise [00:29:03] You know, we work every week for the small wins. If a child is learning the color red and they finally got it, we throw a parade. You know, we do it with kids. I was thinking about this thing about when kids were first learning to potty train. Mm-Hmm. They went into pot if they peed in the pot. They got high fives. You know, a parade. Well, you know, see, there's something the smallest that, but we celebrated it. But when it comes to us ourselves, we don't do that. No, we don't celebrate ourselves until we get the big win. But I've learned to keep the momentum, to keep me focused, to keep me excited. If I got to, I have to count and celebrate the small wins along the way. 

Keri [00:29:45] You're I love the small wins. We've talked about that with some other guests too is like just make a small step every day because just like you said, if you say, you know, a lot of us try to lose weight. So I usually use that as a kind of a common one. But if I just woke up and said, you know what, in one month, I'm going to drop twenty five pounds. Come on. And like, like you said with this speech pathology, which is a long game, I know speech pathologist not just flip over. Right? So how do you make these little wins and then celebrate it? Because you're right? As adults, we don't really celebrate that much. We celebrate with Denise. Got a new job, Kelly got a new job, but that's it. And when does that happen? Once every two or three or four years or something? Maybe. Yeah, and that's what we celebrate. Or you get your masters or your doctorate again, that's a one time thing. And then what else are you going to celebrate? So that taking little actions do add up, and then I'll add that whole. It's their journey. And so I know Kelly and I are really trying to focus on this for for for those of us who have a high sense of urgency and want to see actions right away. This is a very difficult one, but it's the other person's journey, so you're there to help them, but it will go at the pace that they're ready to go. Like, you're like the five year old who is non-verbal. That's awesome. You hit a goal and you should have a goal, but also know it could take him a while to to be verbal. So how are you going to manage within and be flexible. 

Dr. Denise [00:31:16] And we can adjust the goal? That's what I had to do it just at all, you know? So the goal in the year was not 10 words. It was like he would be able to say a couple of sounds, OK? After that, we was like, Great. Now we have something to build. OK, so the next goal. So I just think if people could have small, attainable wins, then create the next goal. It just builds momentum and it builds excitement and you feel like I can build your confidence like I can do it. I got this! 

Keri [00:31:47] Yeah, I love that. I know. Oh, go ahead, sorry. 

Dr. Denise [00:31:51] No, go ahead. 

Keri [00:31:53] I just I just get so excited and I'm a overlapping talker, Dr. Denise. So you know that overlapping talkers were like...I want to pull in Kelly because the advice is so beautiful that she's given it. But there's one thing that I know Kelly Guenther has personally helped me with is kind of own it and don't be don't play small. So Keri will say, like, Damn Keri, do you know you're a Dr? And you should get more money for this? And I'm like, OK, Kelly, you know, I'm always going to get Kelly. I guess so. And you wrote a book on it. I'm like, you know, like, I'm so like, Gosh. Okay. So Kelly's been amazing for me personally with that. But what is resonated with you the most? 

Kelly [00:32:40] Well, one very tactical question I have is, are you still in contact, Dr. Denise, with the person that you had dinner with prior to the conference in Dallas? 

Dr. Denise [00:32:48] Yes, we are. We are Facebook friends and we, you know, she's excited about what I've been doing with the movement. And so, yeah, we still stay in contact.  

Kelly [00:32:58] Awesome. I was going to say, because what I mean, just for someone to stand up and get that much from you for over a dinner conversation. Amazing. Love it. Yeah. Oh, so what I love too about your story is how much, even at a young age you that you had enough confidence in yourself to really think through what you wanted and that you gave yourself permission, which I think a lot of women don't do necessarily is give themselves permission to really have the time to think through what they necessarily want and then to actually be OK once they make the decision. So when so did that confidence come early, because I would imagine it probably did for you.  

Dr. Denise [00:33:45] When people ask me that question, I it's hard for me to answer it because I guess so. I don't know. But I do know is something I've had to continue to work on. I don't even if it came early, it's still something I have to continue to be aware of and to hone in on and just continue to stand in it. You know, like anyone else, I could falter. I could give in to different conversations or different thoughts. But you know, it's something I have to work on on a daily basis is sustained in my own truth. 

Kelly [00:34:17] And I think what I appreciate most about what you shared is just your your authenticity in how you are living each day as it comes and you are a work in progress and how much you are very much living your amazing journey. But in your terms and you're just helping other women to live their amazing journey as well based on the steps that you've taken that you are wanting to help others take as well. I mean, what I love the most is that there's one of the themes that carries throughout every single episode, it seems, is the journey of self awareness and how knowing yourself is so pivotal to being able to make a decision to really get to the bottom of what do I really want, which can be very uncomfortable. But then to help take that small action and to give yourself grace because we're not perfect people, we will make mistakes, we will falter. But then to be OK with making those mistakes and recognizing that tomorrow's a new day and with a new day comes new opportunity. 

Dr. Denise [00:35:22] Absolutely. And but again, it's taking that first step. One quick story I want to share is she's a good friend of mine, but she attended one of my workshops and we talked about like, what is something you really want? And so she has to. She's married with two kids, and at the time, her kids were little younger. And so she said, I just want to go to the hotel, spent a night in a hotel by myself and get some really good sleep. And so we were like, Do it, do it, do it, do it right. And so she was like, I don't know. I was like, Do it so. So we made her like promise. You're going to do it, she said, OK. So later on that evening, her husband called me because I can't have really good friends of mine, so I have to call me and ask me, he said. Did you tell my wife to go to, you know, spend the night in a hotel by herself? And I was like, Yeah, thank you. He said, thank you. He said I've been telling her to take some time for herself. At his days, you know, listen to me, he said, but thank you. He said, because I know when she comes back, she's going to be a better wife and a mother. And so fast forward, it's probably been about five years ago now. And so now she goes out on trips by herself, all the time.

Kelly [00:36:41] And just imagine one small step she took a to year coaching and guidance. Yeah, look at that. And now she's like, I should have taken this step a long time ago. Thanks, Dr. Denise. Oh my gosh. 

Dr. Denise [00:36:53] Love to take it takes time. She's gone to the hotel at least five times where she would check into the hotel overnight. She likes you, take a nice bath order room service and get some good sleep.  

Kelly [00:37:09] But I used to do it. Go ahead. I used to do a sales training and there was a trainer that would say "Suspend the disbelief." Throw caution to the wind. In other words, like just whatever is holding you up or hanging you up, just throw it to the wind and and and try it and see what happens. And that's really kind of your message, too is, you know, one small step. See what happens? I mean, you may not like it. You may not get the best night's sleep of your life. Or you might. And now look at she's taking trips on her own, for heaven's sake. I mean, my goodness. Yes. I mean, that's someone who's bought in and said, I'm all in on this and see a family. I'm going to go on this trip by myself. Amazing. Wow.  

Dr. Denise [00:37:48] I tell her I've created a monster.  

Kelly [00:37:53] Absolutely. She is taking that advice in spades. My goodness.  

Dr. Denise [00:37:58] But she's got to tell you she's much better just as a woman, as a wife, as a mom. She was like, I'm just so much happier and more fulfilled and more peaceful, because now I know I can go and take time for myself, get myself restored, really figure out what I want to do, who I am, and then come back and really show up more powerfully for those I love. 

Kelly [00:38:22] Love it, and I think, too, for any free for all women out there, this is an incredibly powerful episode, especially for those who as a result of the pandemic, have found themselves having to shift their focus from maybe working outside of the home to working inside the home and having to maybe, you know, change career paths for, for, for, for a variety of reasons. But listen to this episode and really take into consideration all of the great advice that Dr. Denise shared, and we encourage you to connect with Dr. Denise. We'll have all of Dr. Denise's contact information in our show notes within the episode for for her information. So thank you, Dr. Denise, for joining our podcast and for sharing your very poignant and beautiful story with us.  

Dr. Denise [00:39:10] Oh, thank you so much for having me. It's been my pleasure.  

Kelly [00:39:14] Thank you. Thank you for listening to the reCHARGE® Your Life podcast. Please sign up for our newsletter at Abbracci Group.com. And follow us on social media. You can find us on LinkedIn at Abbracci Group. Instagram at WarriorsofHR and Twitter at Warriors_HR. Remember to subscribe to our podcast, leave a review and please tell a friend and be sure to drop us a note on how you are recharging your life. We can't wait to hear from you.