reCHARGE® Your Life

Ep59: Jackie Simmons reCHARGED

May 25, 2022 Dr. Keri Ohlrich & Kelly Guenther
reCHARGE® Your Life
Ep59: Jackie Simmons reCHARGED
Show Notes Transcript

The journey Jackie Simmons took to become a coach is one uniquely her own. A profound difference in how she approaches engaging with her clients is by working with them on aligning who they are and how they best interact with the world themselves so they can create their village of people to best support them. Amazing! 

Her passion extends beyond that of helping others harness their potential, it also extends to helping people figure out how to live. Jackie shares with us the story of her daughter, Stephanie, who attempted to take her life 14 times. It was because of the struggles her daughter faced that Jackie, along with her daughters, decided to create the non-profit, Teen Suicide Prevention Society, to prevent teen suicide. As Jackie shared, "We've learned that people don't attempt to take their own lives because they're trying to die. They attempt to take their own lives because they haven't figured out how to live." May is Mental Health Month and we are honored to share with you Jackie's story.  

Author and TEDx Speaker, Jackie Simmons, believes in tackling complex and challenging topics and making sense out of them.

As the creator of Conscious Transformational Coaching, Jackie believes that you deserve to experience yourself as great, every session, every time. Jackie shares alternatives to get you unstuck, find out what’s true and what’s not true – spot the elephant in the room – so that you can have what you want and what you deserve.

Life doesn’t always give us time to experience ourselves as great. Life often hands us the opposite.

On April 1, 2020, Jackie and her 3 daughters co-founded the non-profit, Teen Suicide Prevention Society and launched the mission to make teen suicide a thing of the past. The mission has grown to include two books, 3 programs, and “The Talk that Saves Lives” which Jackie presented on January 16, 2021 at TEDx TenayaPaseo in Las Vegas.

Connect with Jackie to learn more about her and her background:

Sign up for our newsletter at https://abbraccigroup.com/. Please subscribe, leave a review and tell your friends about our podcast. Learn more about the CHARGE® model by purchasing the book, The Way of the HR Warrior. Let us know about the moments for you that changed your life trajectory. Drop us a note via our website. 

Keri [00:00:15] Welcome to the reCHARGE® Your Life podcast with me Dr. Keri Ohlrich and Kelly Guenther. We are thrilled to talk to people who have made a decision that recharged their lives. Often they push themselves out of their comfort zones and took risks. We want to know about that decision point. Why did they make that decision? And most importantly, how can we learn from them? Kelly and I are passionate HR professionals, and together we co-founded our HR consulting firm Abbracci Group. We have talked to amazing people throughout our careers and listen to them as they make decisions that change their lives and knew that these inspirational stories would help others. And why did we call it reCHARGE®? It's based on a book I coauthored called The Way of the HR Warrior. And in it we have a leadership medal CHARGE which stands for Courage, Humility, Accuracy, resiliency, goal oriented and exemplary. We know that people used one or more of these qualities to help them make their decisions, and we want to learn from them. Now sit back, listen, and be inspired by these stories and then do something to recharge your life. Let's get to it. 

Kelly [00:01:21] Hi, everyone. It's Kelly. We're so excited to have Jackie Simmons as our special guest. Author and TEDx speaker. Jackie Simmons believes in tackling complex and challenging topics and making sense out of them as the creator of conscious transformational coaching. Jackie believes that you deserve to experience yourself as great every session, every time Jackie shares alternatives to get you unstuck. Find out what's true and what's not true. Spot the elephant in the room so that you can have what you want and what you deserve. Life doesn't always give us time to experience ourselves. This great life often hands us the opposite. On April 1st, 2020, Jackie and her three daughters co-founded the nonprofit Teen Suicide Prevention Society and launched the mission to make teen suicide a thing of the past. The mission has grown to include two books, three programs, and the Talk That Saves Lives, which Jackie presented on January 16th, 2021 at TenayaPaseo in Las Vegas. Jackie, we're honored to have you join our podcast today. We always like to start by asking what you do when you want to expand your thinking. 

Jackie [00:02:34] Well, it's pretty simple for me to expand my thinking. All I have to do is pick up a book by two authors that are expanding. My brain currently are Shawn Achor. He gave the funniest TEDx talk of all time. He's the happiness professor from Harvard, and the other is a gentleman named J.W. Wilson. And J.W. published a book that is about 18 times thicker than what most people are writing these days. It's called cracking your Cracking the Learning Code. And that book is a game changer, I believe, because it speaks to the fact that we all have our own unique intelligence. It's not five intelligences or seven intelligences. It is over 7 billion different ways to learn. Each of us has our own unique style. And I think that's a game changer. He also, both authors have one very common belief and that we're not supposed to do it alone. 

Keri [00:03:45] I. Jackie, I first thank you so much for being here. Really appreciate it. And I love the universe sometimes because I just held up in a meeting yesterday. Sean's book on The Happiness Factor. And isn't that I read. Wow. So I want to talk about that 1/1. What is because we're talking about it with with a client for a meeting that they're having a couple of weeks. What what do you and I've seen his TED talk and he's he's hilarious. And I love that because that's the sister that falls out of the the bunk bed, right? 

Jackie [00:04:22] Yep, yep, yep. His sister. The unicorn.

Keri [00:04:24] Yes. But what what do you love from the book so far? Like, what is one just kind of take away? I love that you said we're not alone, but something from the happiness. 

Jackie [00:04:36] The book speaks to you. There are three books in the third one from Shaun. The first one was The Happiness Advantage. The second was Big Potential. 

Keri [00:04:47] Yes. 

Jackie [00:04:48] That kind of rewrote my brain as far as how to reward people, how to build a team. And then now I'm reading before Happiness and Shaun did something that most authors don't do. Shaun called himself out for the fact that what he wrote, some of the things he wrote in his first book, he now has evidence that says, well, actually, it works this way better. 

Keri [00:05:11] Wow. Okay. 

Jackie [00:05:13] Yeah. So he's he's done some course correcting, which I love, because what I do is really a lesson in improv. Yeah, because I work behind people's eyes of between people's ears. And I never know how a session is going to turn out when I get started. I just know there are certain things I can guarantee. And Shaun guarantees that he will continue to research and continue to bring all of that forward. On the subject of how do you get your brain on positive? 

Keri [00:05:46] Mm hmm. What? And I love that. It's the evolution of it. And so you write a book and you learn something that the world changes, too. And you have to take in that feedback and go, Huh? Yeah, it is different now. I've read something different or times are different and I'm at a different level of consciousness about it. What is you mentioned in Big Potential? So I've read it. You're really this is the universe telling me I have to read the two books that I bought since I haven't. And what in big potential? You said there was this kind of rewired your brain in a bit and how to motivate the teams. What was that one nugget that you pulled from it? 

Jackie [00:06:29] That the way that we had been trained to believe that even in nature. That survival of the fittest. And that was the evolution theory that I. Had handed to me when I was in school. And now what he's research and several other people's research has come to light with is that it is not survival of the fittest. It is survival of those that fit best together. 

Keri [00:07:00] Mm. That is, we talk about your talent portfolio and it's your point. It's all how you put that portfolio together. We might we might be a great portfolio for this group or this business, but not for the other one or whatever problem or issue they're tackling. What how did that then with this with the book on intelligence, what was that you said? Like there are 7 billion intelligence types, what have you. How have you even applied that with your practice and just in your life learning from that book? 

Jackie [00:07:42] There's a saying that says you can look around you and the five people who you spend the most time with, that's going to be indicative of your level of success, your level of income, those kinds of things. And both Shawn Akers, both big potential and J.W. Wilson's book, Cracking the Learning Code, debunked that. It's not who you're spending your time with, it's how well you fit in with them. Because if you've got a village and everybody in the village is a hunter, that village is not going to be very viable. You need a hunter and a gatherer and you know that every different aspect. And so it's a I know there are a lot of new programs out in H.R. since I spent my time as an art consultant that speak to this about building a team that is consciously diverse. What these books did for me was help my brain understand why that works. And so for my own team, I use very specific tools, actually, even for the people who are come into my coaching certification program. I have them get their human design in their mind type, and we use those to make sure that we communicate with the way people learn. And when I'm helping someone build their business marketing that they are doing their marketing and their messaging in a way that is in alignment, not with their ideal client, which is what most of the things I was taught led me towards, right? But in alignment with who they are and how they best interact with the world themselves so they can create their village. 

Keri [00:09:24] I, I was just thinking, we were talking about that it's kind of this basic tenet of nature loves diversity. So why wouldn't we? And then the talent and figuring out again that kind of best fit and where you can do your best work and your highest work and be engaged. And I really appreciate that. Thank you. Jackie, we could talk this is where we joke, Jackie, that we could talk about just this part of the podcast the entire time. And then there's a big question that we want to ask the witness. So talk about like, what have you learned that, oh my goodness, this is so much fun, but we always have to stop and say, okay, here's the big question. So what is what is the decision that that you made or was kind of made for you or that moment in your life that changed the trajectory of your life? And what are some of those charge qualities that you use to help you through it? 

Jackie [00:10:19] I love the question, and I'll be honest, I have the polite, politically correct answer. 

Keri [00:10:27] Bu oh. 

Jackie [00:10:28] Sorry. First and the the decision I made was to tackle something that was so big that I knew I couldn't do it alone. This is before I'd read either one of those books. I didn't realize what I was setting myself up for. The mission to stop teen suicide was bigger than I could do alone. That was a big deal. I've been a solopreneur, a practitioner and a teacher and trainer. All of my almost all of my adult career. And now to tackle something where I was going to have to consciously lead a team and allow people to help me and to support me. And, and and and and then. Yeah, it was. A big undertaking for me to make that shift. And that's really not the answer to your question. The answer to your question. The decision that made changed my life. Was when I decided to allow myself to be visible, not for who I thought the world wanted me to be, because I was pretty good at that, but for who I really am. And that was the decision that was handed to me because I did not go looking for a TED stage, not my thing. Stage fright was my thing, even though I've had speaker training. What they said was, We want you to take the stage if and only if you will talk about how to stop teen suicide. Because by then I had started to understand how to put together the talk that saves lives. And we were teaching people to be advocates for living. And we were just making the shift from suicide prevention the way most people talk about it, which is intervention in my mind, because suicide prevention programs only kick in when you know somebody is at risk. 

Keri [00:12:22] Right. Right. 

Jackie [00:12:24] So we looked at that model. We tried that model. We didn't get any traction there. And all of a sudden, one day I woke up and what was the wonder? That's not prevention. Prevention would be to get so far upstream that you're not trying to prevent suicide, but you're trying to prevent suicidal thoughts from getting stuck in someone's head. 

Keri [00:12:45] Mm hmm. 

Jackie [00:12:46] And that sent me on this not being mainstream, because I embrace what Freud said, which is suicidal thoughts are normal. I don't think there's anything wrong with them. They're part of our natural negative bias and our worst case scenario, problem solving mechanism. Yeah, it's only when they get stuck. So we looked at why they get stuck, how they get stuck and how to prevent. We call it putting on emotional Teflon. 

Keri [00:13:14] Mm hmm. 

Jackie [00:13:15] So emotions can slide around, and they don't get stuck in the thinking that creates and doesn't get stuck. 

Keri [00:13:22] Mm hmm. Jackie, you mentioned the the visible. Like, you mean visible. So, you know, I want to dig into that. 

Jackie [00:13:31] Yeah. 

Keri [00:13:34] What? I guess, like, did you kind of know that you weren't feeling as visible before this TED talk or this TED talk really? Like, shook you and went, wait a second. I need to be more visible. Like like Melody's kind of what I'm feeling and what people are seeing from me. 

Jackie [00:13:56] Well, I'll give you the journey of my TEDx script here. When I was first asked, the stage was set for May of 2020. Okay. And I had a head coach assigned to me, their volunteers, and I got a lot of really positive feedback on my talk from my peers. And then my head coach called me out privately and said, "Jack, your talk is tactical and not honorable." Wow. And you got a chance to do something significant with this stage, but you're not going to stand up there and tell people the 800 number to call because I was stuck on suicide intervention when I started. So I rewrote it and COVID shut down the stage. I was elated. I put that TED script into a drawer and went on my merry way, trying to teach people how to have the talk that saves lives. And then at the end of 2020, I got told, okay, we've got a stage, we've got a date, it'll be a hybrid. You're going to you're still going to come to Las Vegas. You it's still going to be in Las Vegas stage. And I'm like. And they gave me a new pitch. And the more I worked with my script, the more I hated it. Mm hmm. So I called my friend Rodger. Rodger used to organize TEDx stages, and I said, Hey, Rodger, would you read my script? Because, you know, I've got a new date and give me some feedback. And he read my script and he called me up and he's got this great Irish accent and he's like, Jackie, you know, you've got really good content, but you're not going to inspire anyone. Yeah, it doesn't really inspire me when you help me. And he said, only if you get permission. Because now we're three weeks before stage. 

Keri [00:15:48] Oh, my goodness. 

Jackie [00:15:49] And they don't usually allow people to rip apart a script three weeks before stage. Yeah, well, my organizer, much to her credit, Sarah, said yes. And Roger worked with me and we took it all apart. And he says, "You're going to have to tell the story." And I'm like, "Well, I did." Yeah. We were a typical middle class American family. And then my daughter tried to kill herself. He's like, "Jackie, that's not the story. You have to take people into that day." I'm like, "Rodger, there was nothing about that day. It was a perfectly normal day until there was nothing normal about my life. There is no story." And he's like, "There's a story." And I'm like, "Well, I don't remember it. It was just a day." So he asked me if I could ask my daughter. And I called up my daughter, Stephanie. You know, Stephanie, I'm doing the TED Talk. They want me to tell the story. I'm like, Yeah, mom, I'm not surprised. And I'm like, Stephanie, I don't remember. And it was the longest, probably 2 second pause of my life. And Stephanie started laughing and I'm like, what she. And when she stopped, I mean, she was barely laughing. When she stopped laughing, she said, "Mom, it was the shopping." And then I remembered. And that story. Got told on the TED stage. And the real story about how the movement got started, which I did not start the movement. My daughter, Stephanie. Yeah, she did. She did. On August 3, 2019. She delivered a seven minute message that matters at my event. Shocking the hell out of me. Pardon my language, but I was in the back of the room and I had no idea she was going to talk about suicide and I had no idea she was going to talk about her own suicide. Avoidant journey is what we call it now, and it was that talk, the subsequent dove into the world of teen suicide numbers and what was going on that people weren't talking about it. And then ripping my script, you know, telling, deciding that. Yeah. Okay. I will tell this story. There's a moment of willingness to be seen for all that I am. 

Keri [00:18:26] Mm hmm. 

Jackie [00:18:27] And it took a support system. It took me learning even more techniques to work with my own brain, to get my brain on positive so that I didn't get stuck in the language of my childhood. You don't air your dirty laundry in public. And what will the neighbors think? And all of the stories that I have been raised with. It was more about breaking faith with the fundamentals of my family to allow myself to be seen for all that I am, including being the mother of a suicidal child. And she survived. I'm very blessed. From the ages of 14 to when she took the stage. She was 37 when she gave her talk. She had survived 14 attempts. 

Keri [00:19:17] Wow. 

Jackie [00:19:20] And sharing that going. It was the shopping. It was not a huge, cataclysmic, traumatic. It was the awareness that for her, not fitting into any clothes was proof in her brain that she didn't fit in anywhere in the world. 

Keri [00:19:39] Wow. Such a simple thing. Shopping like. Yeah. 

Jackie [00:19:44] Such a simple thing, and she was under professional care for the entire time, and that professional care could not stop her from falling back into hitting suicidal. What I call now the state of ultimate self-sabotage, where dying makes more sense than continuing to try to live.  

Keri [00:20:06] Mm hmm. 

Jackie [00:20:07] You know, we've learned that people don't attempt to take their own lives because they're trying to die. They attempt to take their own lives because they haven't figured out how to live. 

Keri [00:20:15] Mm hmm. 

Jackie [00:20:16] So that's where we have focused. What if. You knew how to live. What if you said, "Okay, this is what looks like the best idea?" Which is why we do anything right? You know, it's seems like the best idea at the time. And just that moment will pass. But you have to have the experience of having some emotional resilience. When you said what is the charge thing that I have is emotional resilience. It's it's all that I want to teach now is the fact that we are designed by Mother Nature to bounce and not break. And we don't know that anymore because we've got a philosophy that I see that is showing up over and over again that you can do life wrong. And I don't think that's true. I think that's a myth worth busting. 

Keri [00:21:09] Hmm. I and again, we go back to nature again, Jackie, diversity and nature and resiliency. So when you study nature and you see how plants can bounce back or they come back from fires and things like that. But I want to ask you, because I want to get into some some of your wonderful advice, too, but how we have a lot of people that listen to the podcast and are on the podcast and really talk about this, the big V, the vulnerability and how you can kind of let go. Because you're right so much the parenting society don't share your dirty laundry. We don't talk about that. How did you and what kind of advice do you have for someone to make that shift and be like, you know what, I need to share my story. I need it to be visible and I need to be vulnerable and it's going to be okay. Like, what's some of that beautiful advice that you that you learned and you want others to take with them and understand that vulnerability and sharing? 

Jackie [00:22:10] Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't take a stage. Don't tell your story and tell after you have raised the emotional trauma from it. In my world, we have a prime directive. In my company, no one gets re-traumatized on our watch. And I believe that being encouraged or suggested that you tell your story, that you publish it in a book because it's so cathartic, I think it is damaging. 

Keri [00:22:44] Hmm. 

Jackie [00:22:44] I think my own experience, having survived two bouts of clinical depression is that every time I started with a new mental health professional, I had to tell the whole story again, and it would set me back. 

Keri [00:23:00] Mm hmm. 

Jackie [00:23:01] And what I didn't understand then that I do understand now is that it's not the events of the past. It's the meaning that I had assigned to those events. And once I understood how to shift the meaning. And by the way, this is what I do every week. I do a free one hour masterclass on Zoom anywhere in the world. Come in. It's busting your limiting beliefs. Because it wasn't. That there was something wrong with me. Yeah, it was the fact that I had assigned a meaning to the events of my past that said there was something wrong with me. 

Keri [00:23:39] Hmm. So, Jackie, how? Because I love with it. You said it's because you're right. The, the actual event it. Mhm. Right. That's, that's, it's the event. But it's all the meaning, it's the baggage, it's everything. So how besides attending your master class for sure, what else can people do to start to kind of not remove themselves from the event but understanding the meaning and starting to unpack that and figure it out so they can get to the place where you're at and speaking and helping others because that's where they want to get. They don't wanna be stuck in it. They want to maybe help others or manage it. 

Jackie [00:24:16] The first thing to do is to embrace the idea that you can't do it wrong, that you didn't do it wrong, that there had been you know, it's not that you made a mistake. It's that things happened that were yucky. Things happen that are yucky. Deciding that, okay. Things happened that are yucky and. What if? I don't have to be afraid anymore. 

Keri [00:24:45] Hmm. 

Jackie [00:24:46] That's really what vulnerability is, is the fear of dying. That's the root of it. I'm vulnerable to a disease. I'm afraid I'm going to die. And we. I believe that no matter which adaptation we are. Absorbed in a cultural fear now that we could do it wrong, that we could be ostracized, that we could be voted off the island. You know, we now have cute names for this in our culture, and I don't think it's funny. I think we are actually focusing on the wrong part of our brain. We are reinforcing the negativity. So the first thing I suggest to everybody, if you want to go on this journey, focus on what puts your brain on positive, even as people talk about gratitude practices and as wonderful as they are. I prefer something called active gratitude. And active gratitude is get your brain on positive and provides evidence that you are a powerful person. And here's how it works. You look around your room, you look around, and when you see something that makes you smile, you give yours. Even if it's another person, you give yourself appreciation. Not the other person, not the item, not whoever gave it to you, but your self. Because that item or that other person could not be in your life except for a decision you made in an action you took. So you give yourself the appreciation and you'll start to build up a body of evidence that says, Wow, look at what a great job I have done with my life. 

Keri [00:26:24] Hmm. 

Jackie [00:26:26] And that's a game changer. 

Keri [00:26:30] I that is. I love you. Turn it on its head that way because it's how to build. First, I don't want to lose the thread that you talked about that fear. So the fear of I've posted something I've removed, I'm voted off the island, I'm canceled all the like. It is such to your point, a fear based and that just triggers your brain consistently of fear. And that is not a good state to be in. As you and I know that's the fight or flight, that's cortisol, that's racing. You don't make the best decisions in that. So I love that yours you got to flip it and got to start laying down that positivity and that gratitude because I do that with my son. And but how do you change it to like and you're grateful for yourself because that's just building you. That's so wonderful, Jackie. But is there another advice? I felt like you had more. I don't want to cut you off. 

Jackie [00:27:23] It's okay that. Just wait. There's more. I'm like that old Ginsu knife commercial. 

Keri [00:27:29] I'm like, I know there's more. And I feel like I'm in your Amen circle because I just keep want to say I went, yep. Mm mm. I'm like a backup dancer for you right now. Jackie So I'm so excited. So, yes, and there's more. Jackie Please tell us. 

Jackie [00:27:46] When we talk about being vulnerable. I think the greatest. Greatest is not quite the wrong word. I think the biggest pit of vulnerability is when we are afraid of other people's judgments, opinions and expectations that we're not going to meet other people's expectations, that they're going to judge us, which was one of my fears I'd be judged as a bad mom and that other people's judgments, opinions and expectations, I call it riding an elephant named Joe. Other people's judgments, opinions and expectations getting down off of Joe means that you have to get up on another elephant. And the elephant I recommend that you ride is your own sense of judgment. Are you willing to judge yourself as being. Good enough. And I can guarantee that I can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that every decision you have ever made has been good enough. 

Keri [00:28:50] Mm hmm. 

Jackie [00:28:51] You're here. That means every decision you've ever made from an evolutionary point of view has been good enough. You're still here?  

Keri [00:29:00] Mm hmm.  

Jackie [00:29:01] From that one piece of incontrovertible evidence, you can start building your own sense of judgment about. 

Keri [00:29:09] Oh. 

Jackie [00:29:11] I didn't do it wrong. I may not choose to do it that way again, but that doesn't mean it has to be wrong. 

Keri [00:29:17] Hmm.  

Jackie [00:29:18] It was right at the moment that I did it. It was the best idea I had at the time. 

Keri [00:29:24] Uh huh.  

Jackie [00:29:25] And just that basic understanding will help people get their own judgment where they trust it more. I'm a big believer, and the one person you need to know like and trust is not the person you're going to buy something from. It's you. You need to be able to know, like, and trust yourself. So trusting your own judgment is simply is as simple as saying, Hey, everything I've ever decided was good enough. And I know that's true because I'm here. 

Keri [00:29:53] Uh huh. 

Jackie [00:29:54] My opinions are my opinions. They are subject to change as I get more information and they're just mine. I don't even have to share them with other people. I believe in assertiveness training for saying things like You might be right when other people have an opinion that's different than mine. I just tell them they might be right. It's absolutely true. Even if the odds are really teeny, tiny and small, they don't need to know that part. The it gives me a place that's safe for me to have an opinion without getting into a disagreement. 

Keri [00:30:31] Hmm. 

Jackie [00:30:32] And when it comes to expectations. We set our expectations in ways that don't make a lot of sense in a culturally to my brain. Now that I do go into this, the ability to expect that I'm going to wake up every day in a great mood, able to give 100%. It's an unrealistic expectation. 

Keri [00:30:57] Mm hmm. 

Jackie [00:30:59] And there are things I can do to improve the odds that even if I don't wake up in a great mood, the first action I take can put my brain on positive to shift me into a state of gratitude and self appreciation. All I have to do is keep my gratitude journal by my bed, get up every morning and read it before I get it. Before I get up and read it, before I go to sleep at night so that I book in my brain when the brain is the most malleable, the most ability for it to mold. If I bookend it with positivity, then the odds are I'm going to have a more positive experience of life in general. And certainly a better day. 

Keri [00:31:44] Hmm. I want to emphasize, Jackie, one thing that she said that I remember one of my friends said to me, I had to be like 20 years ago and it's always stuck. Is that you made the best decision you did in the time, in the moment you made it and you had all the information and that's the decision you made. And so this whole Monday morning quarterback and going back and I should have and I should have, it's like, nope, you made your decision with the best information you had at the time, and that's okay. And I think what you said is you made that decision. Maybe I won't make it again the same way, but that decision in the time. And so to allow that you've been speaking about kind of allowing yourself that grace and being giving yourself that grace and we just don't we don't do it for other people quite often when they make a mistake and we often don't do it for ourselves. And so I love that message that you that you're giving around kind of understanding yourself and evolving and giving yourself that grace. 

Jackie [00:32:43] And make it a practice. 

Keri [00:32:45] Yes.  

Jackie [00:32:46] Make it a practice because we're being flooded with negativity. We're being flooded with opportunities to judge ourselves. We're told by marketing, messaging. And a lot of it is neuro linguistic programing based, which is the only reason I ever studied. It was so I could recognize when it was being used against me, focusing on anything that you choose to focus on versus what you're being told to focus on by other people. Just that one thing. This is a wait a minute. Is this my choice? When you hear yourself being less than positive in how you talk about yourself asking the question, Whose voice is this? Where did I get the idea that I needed to be a size six when I'm showing up as a size 16 in this lifetime? Where did this idea come from? And once you start noticing that it didn't come from inside of you, it came from the marketing messages that you've been exposed to and flipping what you expose yourself to. I'm a firm believer in choose who you give permission to brainwash. You can consciously choose because you are being brainwashed every minute of every day. When you chose to listen to this podcast, you're being brainwashed by what we talk about on this podcast and so choose. Who are you going to give permission to? To brainwash you? Yeah. Yeah. And don't let anybody tell you that there's something wrong with unplugging from major media because your brain on positive has a real challenge if you are constantly bombarded with the negative news that they know motivates people in ways that make us spend more money. 

Keri [00:34:39] Mm hmm.  

Jackie [00:34:40] The more negative messages you get, the more likely you are to overspend over, eat over anything. Because that's how we handle stress. Yeah.  

Keri [00:34:54] I was going to say, Jackie, they don't call it, like, happy scrolling. They call it doomscrolling. Right. So so this is like, what is your point then? That that that gets us to overdo things because it makes us sad and depressed and just like, oh, but I was going to say, Kelly Kelly's being brainwashed right now. Kelly. I love that. I love that you said that, Jackie. I'm like you are 100% right. So you got to call it out. Be like, all right. And brainwashing. So what has washed over your brain? Kelly do you like that segue way, what has washed over your brain, Kelly? 

Kelly [00:35:36] Well, it's incredible the story that you that you've shared, I mean, about your daughter, number one, and how you've taken her experience and turned it into this crusade really to educate and really provide a true lesson to us all of what suicide really is. I mean, truly, I mean, one point I was in tears as you were sharing her story, your story and the journey it took to get you here. So your vulnerability is just incredible. How is your daughter and how is the the nonprofit doing? 

Jackie [00:36:19] The nonprofit is, and I'll answer both questions the same way. We're still doing. We're still doing. We are just now going, all right. Maybe we should look at some funding rather than bootstrapping this. Yeah. And that's why I turned my attention back to my own company and made the commitment that 20% of all of my revenue, not my profit, but my topline revenue, is donated to the Teen Suicide Prevention Society. We created a membership where for $27 a month, people can be part of the mission to make teen suicide a thing of the past. And we partnered with an organization in the Mukuru slums of Nairobi, Kenya, and they have taken up the Teen Suicide Prevention Society methods because their suicide rate made ours look like nothing in ours is really bad. 25% of American young adults are now known to be struggling with suicidal thinking at any given time. One out of every four teenagers is struggling to stay alive. So we've got some challenges ahead of us. And the biggest one is just to have more people like you who are willing to stand up and say, yeah, let's talk about this. Thank you. Oh, and we're here jokes. I mean, we are we believe suicide prevention is fun because we're talking pure prevention. We're not talking about waiting for signs. We think that's looking for trouble. We help teens suicide proof their friends. We call it emotional cage fighting. Yeah, we will get in and get down with this whole topic because the real challenge is that if you don't talk about it, you are more at risk for the action than if you do. Who knew? 

Keri [00:38:09] Right? Exactly. And it just so incredibly powerful. Jackie, just your energy around this topic and just the the clarity with which you speak about it. I mean, I've just had so many profound moments in hearing how you you broach the subject, you make it palpable for people who I think would otherwise be like, oh, I don't know what to say. And it just seems it seems almost overwhelming to talk about it with somebody, because where do you start? You have to go to a medical professional. You make it very right. I mean, I just you know, again, you make it so palpable and you offer some very practical tools, which I think makes it I mean, the active gratitude piece, I mean, just in a day to day for me personally, I mean, that's something that I'm definitely going to take advantage of because I think just life gets difficult. I mean, we all the pandemic has kind of forced us into behaviors that we maybe didn't expect to do and live a certain way. This is just been such a profound it's had such a profound impact on me personally. And I know our listeners are going to be that much richer in their knowledge for having listened to you on our on this episode. So we'll include all of the resources, Jackie, that you listed. And of course, please reach out to Jackie to learn more. And of course we'll include the link to your masterclass. We would love to include that as well. Jackie So people can listen and learn and please make their donation as well. I can't think of a more noble cause to give, to donate to than to this just a profound experience. And we thank you, Jackie, so much for sharing your story with us. 

Jackie [00:39:56] Thank you. 

Keri [00:40:00] Thank you for listening to the Recharge Your Life podcast. Please sign up for our newsletter at Abbraccigroup.com. And follow us on social media. You can find us on LinkedIn at Abbracci Group. Instagram at WarriorsofHR and Twitter at Warriors_HR. Remember to subscribe to our podcast. Leave a review and please tell a friend and be sure to drop us a note on how you are recharging your life. We can't wait to hear from you.