reCHARGE® Your Life

Ep56: Emily Sander reCHARGED

April 13, 2022 Dr. Keri Ohlrich & Kelly Guenther
reCHARGE® Your Life
Ep56: Emily Sander reCHARGED
Show Notes Transcript

Emily Sander took the time during COVID to write her book and help others become better leaders. And you might think that the decision that changed her life, but you would be wrong. Emily shares her deeply personal story on being adopted from South Korea when she was 5 ½ months old. That marks the situation that changed the trajectory of her life.

She talks about her wonderful parents who helped her during difficult times (aka kids being mean!). Emily's great advice is to rest your mind in gratitude and change up your surroundings! 

Emily has spent more than fifteen years in the business world, but when she realized that her favorite role was mentoring leaders, she decided to pursue coaching. As a C-Suite Executive and ICF-Certified coach, she combines her experience and proven insights with a keen ability to understand each client’s unique personality and situation. She is the author of the book, Hacking Executive Leadership. 

Connect with Emily to learn more about her and her background:

Sign up for our newsletter at https://abbraccigroup.com/. Please subscribe, leave a review and tell your friends about our podcast. Learn more about the CHARGE® model by purchasing the book, The Way of the HR Warrior. Let us know about the moments for you that changed your life trajectory. Drop us a note via our website. 

Keri [00:00:12] Welcome to the reCHARGE® Your Life podcast with me, Dr. Keri Ohlrich and Kelly Guenther. We are thrilled to talk to people who have made a decision that reCHARGE® their lives. Often they push themselves out of their comfort zones and took risks. We want to know about that decision point. Why did they make that decision? And most importantly, how can we learn from them? Kelly and I are passionate HR professionals, and together we co-founded our HR consulting firm Abbracci Group. We have talked to amazing people throughout our careers and listen to them as they made decisions that change their lives and knew that these inspirational stories would help others. And why did we call it reCHARGE®? It's based on a book I coauthored called The Way of the HR Warrior, and in it we have a leadership model CHARGE which stands for courage, humility, accuracy, resiliency, goal oriented and exemplary. We know that people used one or more of these qualities to help them make their decisions, and we want to learn from them. Now sit back, listen and be inspired by these stories, and then do something to reCHARGE® your life. Let's get to it. 

Kelly [00:01:18] Hi, everyone, it's Kelly. We're so excited to have Emily Sander as our special guest. Emily has spent more than 15 years in the business world, but when she realized that her favorite role was mentoring leaders, she decided to pursue coaching as a C-suite executive and ICF certified coach. She combines her experience and proven insights with a keen ability to understand each client's unique personality and situation. She's the author of the book Hacking Executive Leadership. Emily, thanks so much for being on our podcast. We always like to start by asking what you do when you want to push yourself and expand your thinking. 

Emily [00:01:59] Well, thank you, Kelly and Keri, for having me on. I like to think of my future self. Maybe three to five years out and think about what I want to look back on and what I want to have accomplished, or what type of person I want to have become or gotten closer to. And for inspiration, I often look back three to five years and usually smile and laugh at myself in a good way about what seemed like a big deal at the time or what types of things would really worry me. And now I can do in my sleep or don't think twice about. So it's a reminder to stay on my growth edge, which is one step outside of my comfort zone. And a tell I look for is that mixture of fear and excitement. So it's like a cocktail. You have the right parts of each. And I've gotten really good at identifying that, looking for it and then saying yes before I can talk myself out of it.  

Keri [00:02:55] Oh, my gosh, Emily, there's so much in there, I like so much, so Kelly and I often talk about if you don't feel a little sick before you got a new role or client or, you know, challenge, then it's not good, right? So that mixture of fear and excitement, that cocktail, I appreciate that you say it much better. I say, like, you're going to throw up. But what? I'd like have you done the exercise of it's a little morbid, but it's kind of like you're three to five years out where people ask, write your eulogy or what you want to be remembered for. It's kind of the same idea of the three to five years... 

Emily [00:03:35] I've seen that I've I've used that a little bit. It is a little bit morbid, but I like I like to think just, you know what? What do I have on the horizon? What's kind of my true north? And a lot of times we get caught up in the minutiae and the weeds of what we're doing. And I tend to get tunnel vision a lot. So oh my gosh me, lift my head up and look and look out and say, Oh no, I actually have come a long way. Let's give myself a little pat on the back and a little bit of credit and keep myself centered on where I'm wanting to go. 

Keri [00:04:06] Yeah, because what you're doing is what I appreciate is it's that future. Look, so you're pushing yourself, you're pushing your thinking like, we asked, you know, how do you do that? You think of that three to five years. But then that look back is so important to because you can be too forward thinking and then never take time to celebrate what you've done in the past. So that's super important to do. So my question then, Emily, is what is one thing that's on your horizon now three to five years out that you're like, OK, and then what's maybe one thing that you look back like? You're saying you laughed. And he went, I can't even believe I did that. And now it's easy. Like, give us some of your surprises and what's on the horizon for you. 

Emily [00:04:44] Sure. So I mean, a recent a relatively recent one is writing my book and that happened during COVID. So, you know, COVID hit, no one expected it. It was very serious and very scary. And then lockdown was very boring and I was going to lose my mind. And so I have to do something with this time, and I always kind of had a book in the back of my mind, maybe for years and years and years down the line. But I said, no, like now is the time and I'm going to write a book and it scared the crap out of me because I didn't know how and I thought, I'm putting words on paper and people are going to read them right next to my name. But it was that that special mixture of fear and excitement and way out in my heart of hearts and the true gut check was like, Yes, just just do it, just say yes, just do it. And I found a boutique publisher and he helped me, but that was the most recent one where I was like, Oh, that was scary and exciting. And then I did it. And now I can say, I've done that. I remember holding the book in my hands for the first time, the draft copy, and that was quite quite a moment because I had remembered and recalled sitting down to my first writing session and staring at that blinking cursor on a blank page where nothing had been written. And so now and I'm like, I have a blank slate in front of me. I don't know how to do this. This is really scary. I go, Oh, but I've done it before. Let me do it again. 

Keri [00:06:07] I like that. Yes, it's the I've done it before. It's OK, like, I've done it. It's OK, I can do it again. And I love that and congratulations again on the book. It is like birthing a very long child, very long gestation period, usually, but good for you for doing something during COVID. To that, I guess you didn't make sour dough bread, or maybe you did. But like all these people were doing, you're like, I'm going to do something a little more productive. So thank you, Emily, for that putting out a body of knowledge. It is pretty cool. I will say you made me think of that first time. When you see it in, your name's on it. You're like, Oh, it's really out there now. Like, it really is putting this creative work out there that lots of people that you don't even know will judge it will put star reviews on it or not. Yeah, it's at a bookstore. It's really weird to see it. Like, it's still weird for me to to see it and one of the coolest things. And I hope like when you go to the bookstore, when my book was first out, they I, they put it next because it was a local author. So they put it next to one of the other books that was by Bob Woodward. And I went, That is the real moment I've ever had in my life. I was like, Is that next to bat? Like what? And then, of course, I sold a million books. Emily and the rest is, no, that's not true. That's not what happened here. 

Emily [00:07:33] I just know that's going to happen next. 

Keri [00:07:34] I feel great because the Worldwide's ideas are great. But anyway, Emily, let's move on. So it's really cool and congratulations. And I love that you can take over that feeling of of holding it in your hands. So what is the kind of decision that you made or it may be an event that happened to you that. Really change the trajectory of your life and what are some of those charged qualities that you use to kind of help you through it? 

Emily [00:08:01] The biggest event that has changed the trajectory of my life is being adopted into the family that I was adopted into. So I was born in Seoul, South Korea, and then at five and a half months old and as little baby, I was brought over to America, and I grew up in Seattle, Washington and I have a great family. They're loving and supportive and challenging in the right ways and fun in the right ways or the wrong ways when you're a teenager. And I remember having a conversation with my nephew who who was grown, who has grown, and we were talking about this book, Dark Matter by Blake Crouch. And the backdrop for the book is it has multiverses. So instead of a one universe, it has numerous versions of our life that are going on simultaneously, and each decision or event that takes place opens up a new multiverse so it can be something small. Like, I took this street to work. Instead of that one, it can be something big, like I married this person or not, or I invented this medical novel vaccine or whatnot, and we were going back and forth. But all the big decisions and know what was our biggest event and trying to find the one with the biggest impact and the biggest jump in the multiverse and mine was it must be having been adopted into the family that I was. And I think about just even if I had been adopted into a different country when I was young. I remember meeting Korean adoptees who are from Sweden, and they rightfully spoke nothing about Swedish, and I looked at the head tell or like, Why are you speaking Swedish? And they were looking back at me going, Why do you only speak English? And so that was a funny moment. And then even within the same country, even within the US, we all know that is very different regions and different cultures within that. So yeah, my nephew and I were sitting there and thinking about it. And when we both realized, Oh, like, I might not have been my brother sister, which means I wouldn't have been your aunt. We both just stopped and our minds were blown. So I would have to say that was that's by far the biggest event that's changed the trajectory of my life. 

Keri [00:10:09] Oh my. Well, first of all, you get the award for going back the farthest. I've gone back. I've been waiting for someone to be like. And you've come back the farthest. I think we've had, like middle school, maybe Kelly or something like that, but you go, OK, so let's unpack. So what? How how did you like? Did you think about what your life would be like if you weren't adopted? Like, what are some of these kind of scenarios you thought through? Like what was that like? What would you think if you weren't adopted at all? Like, what would your life be like? 

Emily [00:10:42] Yeah, I mean, I've thought about that, you know, for sure of the course of my life, especially when I was younger and I it's it's hard to imagine because I I would speak a different language. I would have a different, different, you know, affiliation to to who my country was and obviously the values and the culture that would surround me. So it is that nature versus nurture. But I have I'm convinced that the environment you grew up in and the people that are around you have such a huge impact on you. So my life would have been very, very different had I stayed in Korea. I don't know the circumstances of my biological parents and what what prompted them to give me up for adoption. But I choose to tell myself a story that it was out of love and them wanting a better life for me. But had I stayed, my life would have been drastically different. And and had I gone to any other place or any other family, it would have been different as well. 

Keri [00:11:34] Yeah. So was your was your so when you came over, so your five and a half months, so tell us about now. I'm just joking. You can't remember. Well, you moved to Seattle. And what was your is? Your family? Is the family that adopted you? Are they also Korean or are they different from a different culture? 

Emily [00:11:54] They're white. Yeah, my parents are both white. 

Keri [00:11:56] OK, so tell us about like, what was it like because Seattle has a very deep Asian population? So but you might not have lived around other people from Korea? Like what was it like growing up and kind of when were your first thinking of? I I am kind of different from my parents or my adopted. Like, how did they tell you? How did that come into your consciousness? Like, tell us about that. 

Emily [00:12:19] Yeah, well, there is no hiding it. So they brought me up and brought me up to be proud to be adopted and thinking it was a cool thing and they made it very positive. My mom remembers she used to tell me the story that when I was looking at a National Geographic magazine and I saw someone of Asian descent, I said, Oh, they're like me. And of course, she like, broke down crying because she knew that I understood that. But it was always a positive thing. And you're right. Seattle is very diverse and there's a huge Asian population, so it wasn't even a thing. You know, my my family, my extended family treated me. Like any other cousin or niece, but at one point, my brother lived in Iowa, which I'm pretty sure is the whitest state in the Union. So when I would walk down the street? Well, I'm not joking. People would slow their cars down and roll down the window. And I was like, What are they looking at? I look behind me. And I was like, Oh, no, they're looking at me because I was such a novel. Not one thing in this day. I was like, OK, so I feel I felt a bear for sure, which I got a chuckle out of because it was a temporary visit. But I was like, Wow, that's a that's different. 

Keri [00:13:28] Wow. What? How did your parents? Because there's a lot of people obviously, who are adopted, and I'm sure there's parents who kind of struggle with how they kind of manage it. Maybe. How did your parents make it because you said they made it positive? Like what? And fun kind of like, what did they do? That's really interesting. What was the key to their success on that? 

Emily [00:13:48] I think the biggest thing is when other kids would react to it or or say things because kids judge on what they see, which is fine. They instead of being like all clamped up, intense, like, oh no, like, let's deal with this in a very serious way. They were like, Yeah, like, I'm a real mom. I look just like her, don't I? And they would kind of make a joke out of it. And my dad, who is who is very into comic books and loves the whole mythos of the superheroes, would read me comic books as a kid for his turn at bedtime story. And my favorite was Superman. And once he got a hold of that, he said, You know, I'm Superman was adopted too. And I thought about it and I said, Oh, he is. He's he's adopted from Krypton, and he got taken in by the Kent's in Kansas. And that's really what helped him define his values and morals and do all the good things. And so when I heard that I lit up and said, "Oh, like, OK, even Superman's adopted!" 

Keri [00:14:43] Oh, I am, first of all, you be happy you weren't adopted in Kansas and other very white state for you. 

Emily [00:14:49] So I love Iowa just in case any people from Iowa are listening. I love Iowa. It was just a funny, funny day walking down the road. 

Keri [00:14:57] As you say, Iowa knows they're white. It's OK. Yeah, I've driven through Iowa. God's there. It's OK. They know it, but I really how sweet. When your dad made that connection of like you like Superman and Super, Superman was adopted too. Hmm. So what are there? What maybe are some of the struggles you had been adopted? And kind of how did you manage through some of those struggles to because it sounds like your parents did such a wonderful job trying to, you know, try to help you and make sure you didn't have that many struggles with it. But I think there's just no way you didn't have any struggle. Share with us. What are some of those that that happened? 

Emily [00:15:40] Yeah, I mean, kids will be kids. So middle school high school kids will say and do things that are just like, Oh, I can look back and laugh now about the time where we're pretty upsetting. I remember I played soccer, I played soccer all through all through school and on this one team. I had a teammate named Cameo and she was her dad was black and her mom was white and we were playing our arch rivals. And right before halftime, they started yelling stuff at us, and then they started throwing stuff at us and we were like, What's happening? And we were like, Oh, it's very directed at me and cameo. And then we realized what they were throwing at us and it was individually wrapped hostess snacks and they were throwing. Ho-Ho is at her, which are like dark chocolate cake with white whipped cream swirl in the middle. And they were throwing Twinkies at me, which are yellow on the outside, white on the inside out. And so I was like, Oh, OK, so I went to be with the halftime and we had our little powwow and moment. But that was super upsetting. We I used it as fuel to kick there, but the second half, but that that stuck with me for a little while. And then, you know, I've always had the, you know, people say, Oh, you, you look like your dad or, oh, you have your mom's eyes or something like that. And I've always wondered, like, I wonder if I look like one of my parents or, you know, if I have a certain trait where someone would be like, Oh, that's from your dad type of thing. And then I finally realize that I'll never know. I have to put it in the, I don't know, file in my brain and just say, I mean, I look like me. 

Keri [00:17:14] Yeah, yeah. How did you how do you and by the way, children during food like that? I remember I went to I went to a predominantly like, get more creative people like I went to a predominantly Jewish school and they threw bagels at us. And I was like, first of all, you're wasting a ton of food. And by the way, a bagel hurts. Like, that's not a that's a hard food. So like, stop throwing food, you're just wasting food. Stop being racist idiots. But how did you manage like, what is some of the strength that you that you could manage when you dealt with that? And then also kind of taking it back to your parents who are white, who don't deal with racism like that? How did you find kind of your way and who to talk to during those times, Emily?  

Emily [00:17:59] I was fortunate enough to have other Korean adoptees that I kind of knew my parents connected us together when we were young, so we had that shared experience. Part of why my parents chose to adopt me from Korea is because my dad's best friend had done that as well, and so they had Michelle. And so she and I were kind of in the same cohort in the same age range, and we're going through that process together, which was fantastic and that I actually had another Korean adoptee just happened to be in the neighborhood. I was growing up, Laura. And so we hung out as well. But I think just, you know, the classic you're not alone. And I met a lot of different people that would have been very, very different and isolating if if I felt like, Oh, I'm the only one who's in this situation. And there certainly were moments of tears and that didn't feel good. And how can people be so mean or ignorant? But there also was tons of of folks around me who were very supportive and either couldn't care less or made it a very happy thing. So I just I just gravitated toward them. And as I got older and got to choose who I was hanging around, I would I would choose to hang around them. But yeah, it was definitely ebbs and flows and peaks and valleys and especially through childhood. But you know, my parents, they they showed me by example, but they also armed me with here, here's your values, and you're going to sometimes need to use them as a shield against the world and be very grounded and rooted in who you are. And you're going to have to be OK with that 100 percent inside yourself. Because when the world comes against you, at times you're you're going to have to rely on it. And they knew that I wouldn't always have them as well. So they were trying to build that up in me from a very young age. 

Keri [00:19:50] Yeah, I love that they were so smart to do that and try to help you. And then also, as we've talked about in this podcast, you kind of had your your network already, even as a kid, you know, because we talk about how important it is to have a network and people who support you and understand you and that kind of board of directors. And you already have that as they connected you with other people, other kids who are adopted from Korea. So that's just lovely that they did that. So I think, Emily, did you do you feel and it kind of goes to you? Can't you have to be OK with that? I don't know if I look like my mom or dad or like those traits that I got from my biological parents. How did you wrestle with that? And like, do you feel like you just innately had this kind of courage and resilience? Or did you really have to struggle for a while to get to that point where you were this in this beautiful acceptance mode that you are in now? 

Emily [00:20:43] It was a long journey. I struggled for a while. I really, really wanted to know. I want to know why. I wanted to know why they had made that decision for a really long time. And through lots of lots of work on myself and lots of conversations with different people, I came to the realization that I will never know, even if I went to find them. And even if I did find them, even if I could speak to them, the reason they gave the story they might tell me might not even be the real reason or the real truth, so I will never know for sure. And so, you know, when I was younger, that was really, really tough on me. I mean, kids, would, you know, they would say stupid, stupid crap like, Oh, you must be, you know, your mom could have been a working person prostitute and you could have been the daughter of a whore. And I was like, OK, well, I have nothing to empirically refute that, but, you know, likely not, but that just stuff like that just got to me. So I would ask that question a lot to myself, but I would think about it and ruminate about it and go, What if this and what if that which of course, is an infinite cycle? I could do that forever. And at some point I said, You know, I have to make the decision for myself. What story do I want to tell myself? And who do I want to be and what do I want to be about? But there were certainly dark moments and lots of tears and lots of tough conversations and things like that along the way. 

Keri [00:22:09] Oh my gosh. Well, I'll quote Kelly Guenther, who said it. Maybe about a week ago we were talking about kids. And she's like, "Kids are horrible." They say the horrible thing is just like, kids are horrible. That will be, of course, the quote that gets Kelly canceled. But she's not like, they are not so nice. Like, they really. I even remember my son saying, like, kids are real. This is look at four years old. He's like, "Kids are really mean." 

Emily [00:22:37] Like, if they can twist the knife, some of them. 

Keri [00:22:40] Yeah, oh my God, it's like they could be really cruel because they have absolutely no filter whatsoever. What I know we'll get to some advice, but I know you already have some. But I wanted to ask, like, what advice do you have for kids who are? Added, who do you kind of want that history and how do you stop that? What if, because you're right, Emily, you could live your whole life and like, well, what if this and what if this? And what if they were like this and what? I mean, you could just drive yourselves mad. So what kind of advice that you could give them, since you're kind of on the other side of it that to help them think through that? 

Emily [00:23:18] I think you can decide if you want to try to find more information about your biological parents. That's a perfectly fine thing. I've chosen not to just because I'm good with what I have, but if that's something you want to pursue, then then go do it. Now there's lots of ways to do that. You can go to the adoption agency, you can travel yourself, you can do something like Twenty Three and me, which can maybe connect you with with me. And there's lots of ways to do that, whereas before it was, you know, you could go and you try to hunt and find different scraps of information. So I think decide if you want to do that and and if you don't want to do that or you try and you can't find information, then you know, doing the work on yourself to figure out, OK, if I can't get that information or if I don't want that information, how am I going to set myself up best to lead the life I want without without that? 

Keri [00:24:12] Hmm. How do you think that this this event, as we talked about in the beginning, the event that goes back and is the biggest change for you or the biggest thing that infected all your multiverses, which I just adore that I love that you and your nephew were talking about. That's so cool. What how do you think it's impacted your career, your life as a coach? Like what makes what gives you kind of a different perspective or different take, I think, on life because of this event at five and a half months? 

Emily [00:24:43] Yeah, there's there's many. So there's the big grateful aspect, which a lot of people have talked about, which I'm all for. I won't go to and up there, but one thing I like to share is your mind rests in gratitude. So when you're grateful for something, you're giving yourself a little break, a little breather. And so a lot of us are running around from here to there doing this and that to do list dropping off kids, picking up this person super stressed. And even if you're just in the car and you have 10 seconds to be grateful for something or someone, it gives you a little rest. It gives you a little rest back. And so I'm very, very grateful to to be part of the family that I'm in. And so there's that aspect, there's the perspective aspect, which I think is huge. So it's important for all of us. It's especially important for a lot of business leaders I work with is finding things that give you perspective, and that can be anything that can be a memory. It can be a song, it can be a picture. It can be going to a certain place or doing a certain activity to. Two of my examples are if I'm managing through something that's a big deal or is a lot of stress, there are a lot of pressure on me. I'll think of Abraham Lincoln and he was the US president during the Civil War, and I'll think about the time and place he was living in and the decisions he had to make and the fact that they were life and death decisions. And he literally had the fate of the nation on his shoulders. And then I go back to whatever I'm dealing with. I'm like, You know what? I'm good. I can handle this. And it's not to belittle that in any way or say, what I'm going through is a valid, but it's putting it in right perspective. And it's saying, Emily, you're not performing heart surgery, you're not charging a beachhead for freedom. It could be something as small as trying to navigate, not being upset that someone didn't see you on email. So it's going to be fine. And the second example that I would give is get yourself in a new environment every 90 days or so, you know, six months, whatever you can manage. But that can be a short road trip that can be a long weekend. But get yourself outside of your routine. And what that does, one of the things that does, is it slows down time. So one way to slow down time is you create novel experiences, so all of your senses will be heightened because you can't run on autopilot because everything is new. And so you have to be present and you have to be aware about what's happening and taking it all in. And we also, you know, talking about multiverses and timelines, we we place things relative to events. So right after I graduated, I went to D.C. or a year before so-and-so was born. We did this. And so we place these new events or experience in our lives and you actually slow time down. 

Keri [00:27:35] Hmm. I that I was just thinking, do the grateful perspective, the novel experiences kind of what? You've been also living all your life. So for you to crystallize those those three key pieces of advice and how you've carried it forward? You've been living it. That's how it's kind of made you in a very in a way so much more mature from the jump because of what you had to deal with. So you're like, I'm old B. I'm wise beyond my years. 

Emily [00:28:03] That's right. You told me mature. So I got wisdom.  

Keri [00:28:07] Wisdom, so awesome. I love that. Is there any other I didn't ask? You are specific like advice, but I think you just gave it. But is there any other advice or actions, especially for kids? You have been adopted. Or how again, you've translated this into your taking lessons forward in your career and how you coach others?

Emily [00:28:28] I would just say, you know, be intentional about this life that you're living this version of the life that you're living, it's an active thing. It's not a passive thing. A lot of people wake up and say, I have to get through this day or I hope nothing bad happens to me today and just let me go through the motions. And instead, you know, it might be something to say, you know, this is the beginning of a new day. I have been given this day to do as I wish. What I do today is important because I'm exchanging a day of my life for it, and tomorrow I'll never get it back. And so let it be for something good. And so just know that the decisions you make, how you show up, how you interact with people, you're continually creating this version of your life that you're living now and you're creating your tomorrow. So take pride in it. Own it. Have fun with it. And make it for something good. 

Keri [00:29:16] Hmm. Taking agency in your life, which I adore and love and thank you so much, Emily. I want to see what Kelly. Since this will be Kelly's last time on the podcast since I've canceled or was saying that kids are cruel and horrible. Sorry, Guenther, about that. 

Emily [00:29:36] Well, I do stand by it. So I mean, I have footage. I was flashback as you were talking about it because I mean, and not to equate it to being adopted, because in no way am I suggesting that I was, or that my experiences were in any way unique or similar to yours. Emily. But you know, as a child, I sucked my thumb and so I had two teeth that would kind of protrude. And so, you know, I look different and it was not attractive and it wasn't, you know, it just it was obvious that I had sucked my thumb. And so, you know, people call me names and I wrote, My name is Kelly. So Kelly smelly, all these horrible things. When you're five, six seven eight, you can't process that. You just get upset, you cry or you just hit somebody or, you know, you just you're not capable of being able to emotionally handle those kinds of things in a rational way. So I and I kind of relate to some of a little bit of what you go through on that level. So yeah, kids are nasty. 

Emily [00:30:41] Yeah, we should use this as a promotional clip. Kids are nasty.

Kelly [00:30:46] We should. Absolutely. Kids are horrible. 

Kelly [00:30:47] I'm all in. I thought this was more of a story about adoption, but the whole issue now is kids are horrible. Please join Emily, Keri and Kelly. 

Kelly [00:31:02] But there's so much potential and you can see like, I mean, I love this story of you and your dad as he's reading you the bedtime story of Superman. It brought tears to my eye because I could visualize that and I could see it. I mean, I just. Again, the fact that they were so open about it, I think sometimes, you know, a lot of the stories I've heard or read, it really wasn't discussed. It wasn't talked about too much. It wasn't, you know, because it was so open because they were so open about it with you. You created an environment in which you could be very descriptive about your experience and they could talk about it. And I love the value system that they talked about with you so that you could prepare yourself. And they were really working to raise you in a way that you could be independent and you could sort of arm yourself with, you know, mechanisms to to to protect yourself when and if situations happened in which they could not be present because they would not be present for your entire life. So I love that visual that you gave us. It's lovely. What age were you, when you were adopted, Emily? 

Emily [00:32:08] I was a baby. So five, five and a half months old, OK? 

Kelly [00:32:11] I wasn't sure. If you remember if you were like a toddler or OK, but you were a baby, got it. OK? Yeah, we're there. Are there good resources or places where maybe those who are teenagers, younger, even or even adults who are who are working through adoption and being adopted can go to for information on just support advocacy? 

Emily [00:32:38] Yeah, I can certainly send you some information. Maybe you can put it in the show notes. There's a few books. I can't recall the top of my head, but I can look them up and give them to you. But yeah, certainly. I mean, I would encourage anyone if they're thinking about adopting, if they've been adopted, if they're working through that to reach out. There's plenty of resources today and it's it's a good thing to just compare notes and share and collaborate about this. 

Kelly [00:33:01] Absolutely, and I think, too, it's have you wonder, too, have you been to South Korea? Have you traveled there? 

Emily [00:33:11] No, not yet. So I will go one day, but I haven't been back yet. 

Kelly [00:33:16] OK. I mean, definitely bucket list thing for you, it sounds like. 

Emily [00:33:22] Yeah, definitely, I I've been trying to pick my moment when I go back and then, you know, obviously COVID went went that out the window in the last couple of years, but I will go back in my lifetime for sure. I'm just picking picking the right timing strongly. 

Kelly [00:33:36] Well, I mean, we're so grateful to you for sharing your story and for the vulnerability you showed in sharing it and for your for your honesty, for the humor as well that you brought. I definitely think a lot of that you probably get from your family, your parents and the experiences you shared, but just also for being so open to talking about, you know, every aspect of of the experience that you've had the good, the bad as well as sort of the in-between. So we'll definitely post all of the resources that Emily shares in the show notes, along with the link to Emily's book I can't wait to Pick It Up, as well as the link to your website next level that coach looking forward to visiting that more detail as well, Emily. Again, encourage everyone to connect with Emily. Learn more about her. Talk with her if you're interested. And again, thank you, Emily. So much for sharing your story with us. 

Emily [00:34:30] Thank you very much for having me on. It's been a pleasure. You guys were great hosts. Thank you.  

Kelly [00:34:34] Thank you, Emily.  

Kelly [00:34:38] Thank you for listening to the reCHARGE® Your Life podcast. Please sign up for our newsletter at Abbraccigroup.com And follow us on social media. You can find us on LinkedIn at Abbracci Group. Instagram at WarriorsofHR and Twitter at Warriors_HR. Remember to subscribe to our podcast, leave a review and please tell a friend and be sure to drop us a note on how you are recharging your life. We can't wait to hear from you.